Lessons I learned from being a Parent

You know, I thought I knew a trick or two since I decided to have kids later in life. Older and wiser right? (I know - funny, eh?) Well, here's what I've learnt so far.

Kids don't get tired - they are energy vampires who suck your energy.
You could be comatose, too tired to cry from exhaustion and there's your kid, happily jumping on you or sticking fingers in your ear.

You don't know what patience is until you have kids.
You can't be mad at the little mite, he's sick, or hungry or needs a diaper change - for the four millionth time! Funny enough this new saintly patience doesn't apply to your partner, which leads me to the next lesson.

You will fight more with your partner. ALOT more.
Your partner could just walk into a room and the way he walks/breathes/looks at you just irritates the hell out of you. You see, all the patience is really you transfering your fustration to the closest victim. Sucks to be them. But sucks to be us too since we're too tired for the makeup sex anyway!

Mom/Family member/Friend thinks you are wrong and they are right.
All that advice from when you were pregnant pales in comparison to the advice they have for you now! "Honey, I think he's hungry, go feed him" "Don't you think he's gaining too much/too little weight?" "He should be eating solids by now right?" Don't worry - agree to anything and then tune them out.

Sleep is a luxury that is wasted on the childless.
Bastards.

And on that note - I am off to sleep.